Every year the reminders come… it’s her birthday… send flowers.  Every year they go unheeded… not because I don’t want to but because I can’t.  I don’t have an earthly address for her anymore… and I don’t think FTD has figured out a way to deliver flowers to heaven.

But, if I could Mom, I would send you something pink and full of life.  Like you.  I would search high and low until I found the perfect card that captures how much  you mean to me.   I would call  you from my cell phone, in traffic, as I always seemed to do and you always called me out on. I would savor in the sound of your voice… a voice I no longer hear and breathe in the warmth of your embrace.

And I would tell you … you were right. Hard to believe huh?  I didn’t appreciate you enough while you were on this earth.   I thought that there was always more time until there wasn’t.  I believed that we had more moments instead of wisely spending the immediate moments with you.

But know this.. my heart was always with you.  It still is.  Where else could it be?  Through illness, bad relationships, uncertainty, you were always there for me.  You had my back and I had yours.  No matter how crazy we made each other, you were the one constant in my life.  My rock.  You showed me a quiet strength tempered with amazing love.  That strength lives on in me.  The love?  I keep it close to my heart.

Happy birthday Mom.

 

 

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